Im Choking . . . But Life Moves on Along the Path of Grief

I wrote a little Kindle book about grief. I hope it can bring comfort to those who read it. Here are some words from the product description:

No matter how much you may want to turn back time -- or perhaps you just want all the sadness to go away long enough for you to recover a few minutes or for a night of dream-free sleep -- life moves on. Time rushes on. Life moves on along relentlessly along the path of grief.

The process of grieving is like walking through a murky swamp. In this e-book I want to talk with you about the way it feels. There's no way I can know exactly what you are going through, not even if we could sit and talk and you could tell me. I will tell you though that I have experienced grief and known many other dear ones who have.

Certain aspects of grieving are the same for almost everybody. Even though each grief journey is unique, every person grieving shares some of the same feelings. Please understand that you are not alone. It's okay to cry.

Thanksgiving and Praise

North of Shady Grove, a little community near Laurel,Mississippi, a tornado damaged 35 homes in my sister's neighborhood. Her home was untouched. I thank God. If a tornado had flattened her house, I should thank God; and if a tornado flattened my house, I should thank God. And I should go a step further to praise God.

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21B)

I don't understand God's ways, which are higher than mine, or his thoughts, which are so much higher than mine that I cannot even imagine how he thinks. What I do know is that because I love him and am called by him to be his child, he is working everything out according to his own plan. (Romans 8:28)

Thanking God, I enter into the door of his presence. Praising him, I enter into the court of his presence. Thanksgiving is recognizing what God has done. Praise is recognizing the God who did it. (Tony Evans)

"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving; and into his courts with praise." (Psalm 100:4, KJV)

Guest Blogger Apala Miller tells a story about her mission trip to Ireland.

Apala Miller lives in Plano, Texas, where she is active in Stonebriar Church (the church where Chuck Swindoll is senior pastor.) She encourages many people, especially her two children. She has decorated her home beautifully, and her friends know what an excellent cook she is. She enjoys working out at the gym. Having known grief in her life, she has relied on the Lord to overcome whatever she has faced. She is a lovely inspiration to all she meets.

Recently she traveled to Ireland as a missionary. She tells the following story in her own words.

About the above picture Apala says, "We had a church retreat at this grand old manor in the country. It must have been magnificent in its day." She is also sharing two other photographs of Ireland. "I know! Looks like a picture book, doesn't it?"


Kirk’s Mom’s Story
Apala Miller

I had the privilege of visiting Ireland to help support a small church who is trying to bring the Bible to a striving nation. There were so many high points during the trip but one story stood out as priceless.

One of the mission couples involved with the church told the story of Kirk’s mom who defied Christianity all of her life. As a matter of fact, when Kirk and Sandlin married and decided to go into full time ministry, his mom put her foot down and said that she did not want to hear anything about their faith, their job, or God…period! So through the next thirty plus years the precious couple who missioned in Austria and then Ireland kept quiet about the Lord’s work but kept praying that mom would come to know the Lord in a personal way.

One day their mom heard about a mission trip going to India which intrigued her (at 72 years of age). So she signed up! She needed a referral and gave it to her son. Kirk didn’t know how to proceed since his mom was not a believer, but elaborated that she would give her heart of service to the cause although she was not a Christian. The pastor accepted her application! She did not go to any of the preparatory meetings prior to the trip except the last one. When she realized this was a Christian cause she didn’t want to go. But in her mind she couldn’t get out of it since she had already made the commitment.

India was pretty tough on her. She had very barren accommodations and even had to sleep in a tiny bed with another woman. But she served with all of her heart. At the end of the trip, when the team was on a layover waiting to come home, she asked each person to tell about their faith. After the stories were told, she decided to give her life to the Lord Jesus Christ!!!

There are so many lessons to surmise from this story. Never stop praying for someone even when it seems hopeless. The Lord has His way and His timing. And kudos to the pastor who didn’t reject mom because she wasn’t the perfect mission candidate. Perhaps he had some insight, maturity and a great faith that the Lord was in control of the situation. Also, I’m sure the Lord knew she would get a different perspective after visiting a third world country to see how blessed she truly was and how people in deprivation had a hunger for a Savior…and maybe how she was hungry for a Savior as well.

I have a feeling that this now 73 year old woman will have more impact in her years left than many of us who have been Christians for a long time.

Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Thanksgiving

“O give thanks unto the LORD; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever.” (I Chronicles 16:34) This verse is repeated verbatim five times in the book of Psalms.

We should give thanks every day. “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18) Give thanks forever: when things are good, when they seem not so good, all the time. Give thanks from the rising of the sun to the setting of the moon.

Think of the splendor of the creation: the vast glorious skies, majestic mountains, sparkling lakes, stately trees, delicate flowers, and bright stars. Think of the love all around us: human love of family and friends and love of God that exceeds any love people are capable of. Thank God through Christ.

(From Do You Know How God Loves You?)

Guest Blogger: Rob Sharp

Rob Sharp, Worship Minister at Ellerbe Road Baptist Church, Shreveport, LA, is today’s guest blogger at DoYouKnowHowGodLovesYou.blogspot.com. I first met Rob – we called him Robby back then – when he was in high school. He and my daughter Christie became friends at band camps and district honor bands. Rob is a percussionist. When he attended Louisiana Tech, my husband, who taught trumpet there and directed the concert band, had the highest regard for him.

Rob says, “I was a band director for 4 years (LA, AR, TX) before surrendering to fulltime ministry. I then got my Masters from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and have been on staff at churches in Louisiana and Texas involved in worship ministry for the past 11 years.”

Mr.Cheatham shared a little story with me. “Anytime I get a chance I pass along the wisdom your husband passed down to me about being a successful professional musician, a lot of which could be described as how to be an effective and committed church musician/worship leader. It has seved me well as a professional and worship leader!”
•Be on time
•Be prepared
•Don’t make it about you
•Serve the song
•Be a good person and work well with others
•Remember where your talent comes from
•Be grateful

When Rob wrote the following, he was going through a difficult time in his life:

Hopelessness

Hopelessness is not a fun thing to experience. I would like to propose there may be times that we aren’t hopeless enough. That just doesn’t sound right, does it? Well, it all depends on who our hope is in. Even as believers we tend to feel hopeless about situations, because we cannot fix them.

If we are truly hopeless we would stop trusting in ourselves and start trusting Jesus and what he accomplished on the cross for us. Hopelessness stems from not being in control and we are not. But we know who is and there comes a time when we need to act like we know Him and place our trust in Him.

So how does one do that? The same way we grow in our relationship: we choose to praise Him, pray to Him, and press into His word deeper. I am not saying that is easy, but it is a choice! To praise Him in the midst of the storm is something even the disciples had trouble with.

If we are hearing His take on the situation, we know that He is control and we are letting Him guide us through it, we suddenly discover true hope. It’s not always about Him delivering us out of a situation; sometimes it about Him carrying us through it.

Faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love. He is love; so get to know who love is and let Him be the finisher of your faith and give you hope beyond yourself. See He loves you enough to deliver you through situations instead of delivering you out of it because it develops perseverance, perseverance - character, and character – hope.

Romans 5:3-5
3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.





Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Vonda Skelton's Blog

Noted author and inspirational speaker Vonda Skelton has given me the privilege of contributing as a guest blogger on her Christian Writer's Den Blog. Visit her blog here.

Guard My Ax by Mary Lou Cheatham

Grandpa Bud lived at the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th century in rural Mississippi. He had a loyal dog that he trained to help him with his work. Grandpa's land was a mixture of fields and forests of virgin timber. He cut trees for fuel and to build a new house. Often he worked alone or with one other relative. . . .

Guest Blogger: Marion McCann

Marion McCann – Miss Marion as my daughter Christie called her – was a Brownie den mother when I first met her. She and her husband John spent years caring for their son Jake, who suffered a traumatic brain injury and finally went to be with his Lord. She knows grief and pain firsthand.

She was an opinion columnist for the Ruston Daily Leader for five years. Her articles dealt with the town of Ruston, Louisiana, during her life and reaching back into her mother's childhood.

She became a fulltime "Over the Road" truck driver to help support her family. To this day, she keeps on trucking. She contributed this poignant story for the blog, Do You Know How God Loves You?

Here's the story:

I have a short book wanting to be written about how I deal with grief moment by moment with God. He saves my literal sanity by infusing me without ceasing in one moment so I can make it to the next. He has brought me a long way.

Yesterday cannot be changed and tomorrow may not arrive but to live His will in each moment builds my life into something tolerable, even desirable. He gives me strength to endure and reach out, which I was unable to do for a long time due to losing part of my heart, my Jake. I had nothing more to give. At least, I didn't think I did.

For example: Poteau, Ok, night before last. I was on my way in from the fuel pumps and saw a man sitting by the curb on a duffle bag--he looked worn out...a hitchhiker or someone really down on his luck. I signaled to him to come here.

He arose and left his belongings unguarded and walked over with an inquisitive look on his face. I said, “Go get your stuff and get in here where you can cool off. I am buying you supper.”

A big smile and then he said, “I have not showered in days. You don't want me near you.”

I explained to him, “I get a free shower ticket for buying fuel and you may have the ticket but I am in a hurry so get in here, pick out whatever and however much you want to eat and drink and have leftover for the next meal then go shower, it will be all paid for when I leave.”

He picked out pizza and chicken, a candy bar and a two-liter Mountain Dew. I told the cashier, “This man has had a hard time so until he can find a way to move on, please let him refill his ice cup and use the truckers lounge after I leave.”

I gave him the shower coupon and went to my truck to check my oil and wash the windshield. I noticed he did not go straight to the shower but was sitting on the curb again, well into a piece of his pizza- fingers dripping with strands of cheese--lesson here is don't expect a starving man to jump in the shower before he is fed.

Before I began to try to live each given moment the very best I knew how, I would never have approached a hungry, dirty stranger and been almost bossy in my request to offer help.

His comment keeps ringing in my heart: “You don't have to do this.” (My unvoiced thought: oh, yes, I do.)

What I did say was, “Man-you are my brother in Christ and I don't want my brother out here stranded with nothing to eat and no way to get cleaned up!”

A backward glance was rewarded with a big wave of thanks and goodbye! I believe he will go on to help someone else down the road!

I have a bag full of tales from the road thanks be to God!

There is one that happened on the road to Goliad in Texas. The Mexican man was barefoot and carrying a very tired pet cat named El Gato, Cat in Spanish. His shoes hung from one shoulder by tied together laces...his feet were blistered and bleeding...you can fill in the blanks and believe me to be foolhardy--but the outcome was a good one. (And, I bet you would have done what I did!)


Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Guest Blogger: Donna Barton

Donna Barton, author and illustrator of a beautiful children's book about Yahweh, the name of God, will have a book signing July 16, 2011. Donna has contributed a guest blog, in which she tells how she was inspired to write this book:

Searching

Searching, always searching! It seems like that is the story of my life. And as I get older the searching consumes my day. I search for answers. What should I believe? Which religion is closest to what God desires for me? How do I meet the needs of my family? Now I search for my glasses,which are on top of my head, my wallet, which is in the refrigerator crisper (true story).

You get the idea. It was during one of my searches for deeper meaning in my life that I took a Bible study called the Names of God. It was there I learned the proper name of God – Yahweh. Because the name of God was taken so seriously, the Jewish people would not say the name aloud so we are not really sure how to pronounce it.

The Jewish tradition maintains that God's name is spoken as a breath; inhale "Yah".the first breath of a newborn as it emerges from the womb. Exhale "Weh". The last breath a person takes before his eyes are glazed over by the final enemy Christ will crush- death. I sat there, I consciously breathed His name in an attitude of prayer and my life was changed.

I went home and wrote a children's prayer book called Yahweh. As inspiration for the illustrations of children and animals in an attitude of prayer, I used Psalm 150:6 "Let everything that has breath praise the LORD." The children in the book are doing the things kids do with their breath. They are blowing bubbles, scattering dandelion puffs, blowing up balloons, flutes, and gasps of excitement when they see a ladybug or a hummingbird.

I am always intrigued when I read the book to children. Their little faces are rapt as they learn to praise God every moment with their breath. My heart was warmed one day as I saw a little one tug on mommy's skirt and say, "Mommy, I know God's name! With closed eyes, she breathed "Yah...Weh."

That is my purpose, for myself and for them. I want all of us to be aware of Him in every moment of our life and praise Him with every breath. The book, YAHWEH is a reality now. The book signing will be July 16, 2011 between 4 and 6 PM at 2715 James Louis Drive, Amarillo, TX 79110. Everyone who is interested is invited. Just come and eat cookies!

Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Happy Anniversary of the Birth of Our Great Nation

We are to honor our nation with obedience and prayer, though we must never commit sin in response to an edict.

God requires us to honor and obey those who are in positions of authority over us. These rulers have a special obligation to perform their tasks well. They will be required to answer to God. If they fail to rule fairly, they will suffer His consequences.

Elohim -- the all powerful King, our Father-God, His perfectly loving and holy Son, the always tender and always powerful Holy Spirit...one God in three persons – created everything. Whatever nations that exist on this earth have their rulers, governments, and economies with His permission. He knows all our problems and is managing all of what goes on according to His master plan.

Even though we often fail to understand, He works whatever happens for good to and for all of us who love Him and are called from the foundation of the world according to His intentions and purposes. Nothing exists without His permission. No government rules Him, and no ruler can maintain his position except through God’s authority. (Romans 8:28)
Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

The Father God

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

William R. Moody had a rare privilege. He was able to say that his father, the famous evangelist Dwight L. Moody, lived for the glory of God. Few of us have fathers like that. Many of us have fathers who are abusive, mean, despicable, irresponsible, disloyal, or absent. We are told to think of our God as a Father. What if your father often beat you until you bled? Cursed you? Cheated on your mother? Never attended your school activities? Left the family?

Sometimes realizing that God is the ultimate loving Father is difficult – difficult but not impossible. Some of us need counseling. We have to look into our minds and see what a father should be. We need to look at Godly men, who have lived to glorify God. We can study great fathers around us. When we look carefully, we will find that none of them are perfect. Only God is.

While we may need professional help, finding it is difficult. Even after locating reliable counselors, we will realize that the professionals are not perfect. We have to guard against all sorts of dangers. Two realizations are key to our spiritual and psychological happiness.

We must forgive our earthly fathers, and we must accept our heavenly Father as perfect. Whatever the problems we may have faced cannot be transferred to our concept of our heavenly Father.

As Christians, we have the Father, Who knows what we need before we ask Him, loves to hear from us, loves us, dotes on us, saves and savors our prayers, created us in His image, sent His Son to save us when we were lost, and took us back into His eternal family. Once we claim the forgiveness He has offered through the sacrifice Christ Jesus made once for all time, our Father does not see any of our imperfections. Instead, when He looks at us, He sees Jesus.

It was not easy for the Father to give His Son Jesus so that He could forgive our sins. Neither is it easy for us to forgive the humanity of our earthly fathers. When we go to our Father God in Jesus’ name, we can see that He is perfect. We don’t have to solve all those problems before we turn our lives over to Him. He’ll accept us and help us just as we are.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh
down from the Father of lights, with Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." (James 1:17)
Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Lead Us Like a Shepherd

“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Luke 11:4)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake,
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
For Thou art with me;
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou annointest my head with oil;
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23)

What are your concerns? Perhaps you are driving to work. Every job has its own stress. Or maybe you are driving home after a stressful day, and you need to cleanse your mind before you prepare to relax after work. Whatever you have in your life, turn it over to the Lord.

Whether you are self-employed, unemployed, attending school, disabled, retired, or caring for your family, you have concerns that may at times make you think you will lose your mind.

Your Creator cares about you and is waiting to hear from you. Move beyond the boring empty platitudes. Tell your Father exactly what is in your mind. Ask His help to face your struggles.

Praise Him and tell Him you love Him. You may have...or you may have had...an earthly father incapable of showing He cared for you; therefore, you may have trouble accepting the goodness of God. Your Father in heaven really does care.

Pray for your earthly father to your heavenly Father. What is needed? Is it healing, forgiveness, reconciliation? Replace the worries of past hurts with the precious balm of healing that God freely gives you.

Whatever your circumstances may be, God is working out a way to bless you in His own time. Trust Him.

Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for You. (I Peter 5:7)

Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

J. B. Coats Day

J. B. Coats is a Jones County, Mississippi, native and composer of the famous gospel song, "Where Could I Go But to the Lord?"

He will be honored Saturday, September 10, 2011, at a Gospel Singing at West Laurel Baptist Church, 1400 West 5th Street, Laurel, Mississippi.

(Contact: Bill Clark: billclarklive@live.com.)

For more informaiton about J. B. Coats, please to to this link:
blog entry I posted about J. B. Coats in 2009

A day honoring J. B. Coats is exciting for me personally. He was an ordinary man who grew up in my neck of the woods. My parents knew him. He was a great musician and teacher.

Here is a link to an inspiring recording of "Where Could I Go But to the Lord":
Gaithers and others

Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

Sandia Peak Sunset

Those who were with me and I had a lovely time going on the tram to have a meal at sunset in the restaurant on Sandia Peak. The pictures I am sharing are for no purpose except your enjoyment. It's a pretty world.


Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?

The Potter and the Clay, Jeremiah's Message

When I get to heaven, I hope to sit down and have a conversation with Jeremiah. I want him to tell me about the way he was tortured but continued to exalt the Lord God Almighty.

The Potter and the Clay, Jeremiah's Message

After he died, I became angry.

My husband was paralyzed five years. I spent those years trying to help him overcome his illness. After the constant challenge of spending every moment of my life helping him move and think . . . after being with him all the time, he died and left me alone. I didn't like being lonely. Who does? Suddenly when I realized he was gone, I was forced to think about something besides what I needed to be doing for my husband.

After he died, I became angry. Why had he not tried harder to get well? Why had he been so inconsiderate to die and leave me to reorganize? Now when I look back on those feelings, I realize how irrational my thought processes were, but they were my thoughts.

The grief was worse at the end of the day. A friend who had lost his wife told me that he learned the value of a long walk at sunset. I started ending my days with a long walk or bicycle ride. Sometimes I prayed, and sometimes I talked with friends and family on my cell phone.

Sundays were the hardest . . . .

“I'm Choking . . .But Life Moves On Along the Path of Grief” is an e-book devoted to discussing the journey all of us take when we work through grief. This Kindle book is available at Amazon.com. It is possible to download software that will allow Kindle books to be read on the computer screen.

Price Reduction

The original price of the paperback book, Do You Know How God Loves You?, was originally $26.99. The price on Amazon.com is now $14.97.

The Kindle version is now $9.99.

I'm Choking . . . But Life Moves On Along the Path of Grief (Insights about Grieving)

My friends, I'm sharing a Kindle e-book about grieving. Mother's Day is perhaps the saddest day of the year for many of us. What I'm saying here is not to be taken as medical or psychological advice. If you need professional help, don't hesitate to get it. This book is simply a discussion of how it feels to grieve.

Believe me, I know. Like the rest of you, the longer I live the more I have to grieve about . . . and to be thankful for.

Click here to see a video about the book.

"I'm choking."

What does that mean? It could mean you've cried so hard that it's impossible to swallow. There's a choking feeling in your throat and chest. You know the feeling. If you have a choking sensation, it may be time to call 9-1-1 to make sure you are not having a heart attack. It is no coincidence that we have expressions such as "died of a broken heart" and "heartbroken." Sometimes these expressions are literal, not figurative.

"But life moves on along the path of grief."

It's a road we all travel. Although your grief is unique, there are certain aspects of every human being's grief that are alike.

I pray this book will warm your heart with its stories about some of the ways others have coped with the problem.

Buddy Walker’s Journey to the Big House

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

Buddy Walker was a dear friend. He told me the following story and I wrote it as a devotional in Do You Know How God Loves You?

Still in the Family

When I was a boy growing up in Arkansas back during the depression, I lived in town. Like many people back then, my parents went broke. We lost everything we had; so we moved out to the country to a log house near my grandmother. She lived in a fine house with electricity.

At night sometimes, my mama would send me to my grandmother’s house. When I went, Mama always gave me a lantern to tote as I walked along the narrow path. As long as I stayed on the track of that narrow path and kept the lantern in my hand, I did just fine. I used to look forward to reaching the big house. I thought it musthave been something like heaven.

Buddy could have stepped off the path in boredom, desire for adventure, or carelessness. He could have tripped over a hollow log, which could have been the abode of unsavory beasts. Skunks, raccoons, opossums, and snakes may have been lurking in the dark shadows. He could have made a misstep into a bush and torn his pants or ripped the skin on his legs. If he had felt especially adventurous, he could have slipped off down the road to the Mississippi River or to a friend’s house.

With his loving, but strict family, he could be sure that someone would come looking for him, if he wandered off too far and took too long to reach his destination. If he arrived at his grandmother’s house bedraggled, ripped, and smudged, he would have been a boy required to give an account of himself. His grandmother would have taken him in and made him comfortable though. Can’t you just see her giving him a little hug?

He walked along that path with the lamp in his hand from the little house to the big house the way all of us are walking from this place to the big magnificent house of light, glory, grace, love, joy, and peace known as heaven! He walked along with angels guarding his footsteps.

“For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.” (Psalm 91:11-12)

Had he strayed, no matter what condition Buddy was in when he arrived at his grandmother’s house, he would still have been Buddy Walker. That is who he was as a part of the family. All his life he was still a Walker. These simple statements are obvious, but sometimes we need to be reminded that as brothers and sisters adopted into the heavenly Father’s family, we are always his beloved children.

And if he had gone off and fallen into the Mississippi River or been eaten by black bears or bobcats, he would have gone to the “big house” where his heavenly Father would have welcomed him. There’s no way for family members to lose!

April 11, 2011, three days before he would have had his ninety-first birthday, God sent an angel to take him home. I feel sure when he arrived at the pearly gates, a huge welcoming committee embraced him. On the front line must have been my husband, Bobby Cheatham. During the five years my husband was paralyzed Buddy visited him frequently. When Bobby was in HealthSouth Rehab Hospital in Ruston, Buddy visited us every week day. He made sure the therapists and Bobby were giving their best efforts. Some of the therapists thought Buddy was my husband’s father. Also he made sure I had time to go home so I could feed the dogs and cats, launder the clothes, and pick up the mail.

Even though I know Buddy is having a wonderful time praising God with his resonant bass voice, I can’t help feeling sad for his friends still here, his three sons, and especially for his sweet wife Irene. I can’t help weeping for the loss.

Thanks be to God for taking Buddy away from his suffering, for the sparkling example of Christ’s love evidenced in this man, for his witness, and for his homecoming.

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14


Click here for the Kindle version of Do You Know How God Loves You?